i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
