Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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