When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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