repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
