I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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