I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
