My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
