I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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