these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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