from now on my penis is your penis
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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