i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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