Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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