I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
