so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
3 2 1 whiskey
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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