Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
