so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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