things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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