my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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