How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
