Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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