Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
