I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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