I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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