Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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