I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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