just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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