i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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