honey bunches of taint.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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