I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
