She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize