my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
