so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
