Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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