So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
