The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
