Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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