k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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