hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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