The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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