You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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