NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
