too bad you live with your parents still
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have post one night stand depression
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