We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I could fuck to npr.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
