Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
