I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
