I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
