Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
