the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
