The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
