Cold hands, warm shart.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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