I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
