He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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