I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
