He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
