someone threw a dead crab at me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
