Where did you get a picture of my penis
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
