My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I didn't notice because vodka
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
