Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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