so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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