And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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