I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
