are you still at the devil's house?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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