I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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