I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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